Friday the 28th: How I became a criminal?

I know you’re saying it started on the 25th of january a day in history no one will ever forget. But for me I had work on that day albeit it was a national holiday but it was already decided months ago before the protestors decided it’d be the 1st day.

On the way home from work on the 6th of October bridge I could see police (Amn markazy ) on the bridge I’d followed the news on the net but I didn’t think it was this bad.

So what happened to the 26th & the 27th fever hit me I’d reached a 40 degree by the time I came around it was thursday the 27th around midnight I called my aunt ( my entire family isn’t here long story) she lives in the same building so she came took my temperature a fair 38 & pumped me up with meds & she kept telling me about what was happening I still couldn’t imagine.

Friday the 28th I woke up to the sound of protestors under my window the most thing that grabbed my attention was that most of them had their cell phones out & were taping the entire thing youtube has made us all camera men, blogs reporters, all for the better you can’t believe the press in this country but later on that. Tried to call my boss to tell him I wasn’t coming but dadandandan no signal tried to logon line but surprise surprise no line. Called TE data customer service the guy told me that they were facing (TECHNICAL ISSUES) & so was every provider in the country & mobile operator? yeah right!!. Since I knew he was lying I asked what kind of technical issue his reply “It hasn’t been specified yet”. This is a whole new ball game here the last time I asked for someone’s landline number was in 2005. who pulled the plug & why?.

After batch number 1 of protestors were gone all decent looking people alot of familiar faces & an actor among them, came batch number two the three with every batch the decent faces were getting less & less.

By night time I was able to go up to my aunt’s for some reason my decoder decided to commit suicide, what a piece of crap you’d think you’d at least work under these circumstances?. As a high tech net-oriented guy I never felt a need to open the TV the internet had it all for me but this only proved how much I relied on it. My cousins had already been telling alot of stuff but I had to see this with my own eyes.

The stuff on the news was beyond anything I’d ever expected (not the egyptian channels obviously they were talking about another country or space time continuum definitely not the here & now may be lala land , disneyland ,definitely not this land).

Apparently there were clashes between police & protestors, & they were only escalating. It looked really bad especially in Suez I don’t think we’ve heard anything about Suez for years obviously they had it really bad.

I was still pretty sick so I excused my self after I was updated on the situation & went to bed.


Thats what woke me up I live on a main street so I thought there was some sort of car accident pretty normal in Cairo but the screaming was right under my window, I put on an ice cap took an iron bar & descended. All unfamiliar faces, Great!!!!, Both security guards no where to be found neither the ones next door. I look & the “Mobile Shop” under the building glass door was broken , awesome, immediately I suspect everybody especially two guys passing by saying that they saw a silver car throwing a stone at it. Yeah right. From a speeding car?? He should apply for the national handball team ? . A guy passing by told me that all the stores on Gamaat Al Dewal street were either robbed or in the process of being robbed told me his name said he was from Jordan been 12 years in Egypt & was on “Star Academy” Whats that??? I apologized & told him I don’t watch tv so if he were famous I wouldn’t know.. Where were the police? mmm, Time to find out. I had my wireless at hand dialled “122” the egyptian equivalent to “911” no answer again no answer, tried “140” (a number to ask for phone numbers) no answer ok this is getting creepy.

I decided to call my aunt 2 minutes & both my cousins were with me ok familiar faces thats good there were neighbors but this is bad someone has to have my back. I began to find out names of the neighbors a lady in our building & those in neighboring buildings. After a while the store security supervisor came on his motorcycle said he’d get a guard & be back in 15 minutes. After a while he came back with a guy looked fairly young 18 to 20 years , I left the matter in his hands & went back to sleep enough action for one night I’m still sick.


What the ….? Who died?

Don’t ever come back you sons of a ……

Thats what I heard as I jumped out of bed I recognized the voice our neighbor in the building.

I grabbed my Iron bar & a large kitchen knife & stormed out of the apartment. Reaching down the security guard looked really pale teary eyes, didn’t check whether his pants were wet or not but he was stuttering “Kkill mme tthey … sssaaiiiid” as I looked around I could only see our neighbors, Who threatened you?

The story went like this four Riff raffs snuck up on him & they gave him a multiple choice question “We wanna rob the store” so

a- You let us rob the store & we split the loot
b- You don’t let us rob the store & we kill you

Apparently he chose “b” what a poor chap so the argument moved to the method of execution till one of the just shouted “One bullet & its over why quarrel”. At that moment our neighbors heard the argument & swarmed the scene.

Ok so security guy was in no shape (nor did he have the ability) to carry on protecting the store they neither have the equipment , training or mindset for this. Most of the time the job is sit there all night.

So what are we suppose to do, silence & then a light bulb lit “Lets rob the place”

Why did you become a criminal?

Well obviously its my upbringing, poverty the social circumstances, the need , …etc. Thats what came to my mind & I tried to figure out what my reply would be to that question I’ve seen on a dozen prime time shows all over the world if the police were to walk in on me in the middle of the heist.

With my iron bar I broke the rest of the glass door ” WEEEEE WAAAAAAA” there goes that noisy alarm again, so what do we do now we searched for the power switch but I can see in the dark so no problem found the keys hanging in sequence very nice of them they put a sticker on every key set so we the burglars ( as in I & the young security guy) won’t go wasting time trying to open the show cases randomly.

All the while our neighbors were keeping watch for us, I went upstairs got a travel bag & started filling it up, it’d been half an hour with the alarm still on & not a soul in sight.

Bag#1 was full I put it upstairs & went back down with bag #2 a neighbor of mine found the power switch yeah that what I’m talking about in another 15 minutes the entire store was emptied, what I couldn’t carry I put in the closets that were full of papers, psychologically whoever entered this store wouldn’t take a second looked its empty to his eyes while the closets still closed safely had the rest of the stuff. I got suggestions to dismantle the LCD from the wall come one guys I won’t go that far.

I opened the cashier drawer 480 LE in there, put the rest of the keys there & closed it while putting the master key in my pocket.

We closed the light asked the security guard to sleep inside & I went upstairs & fell from exhaustion @4:30 AM. Praying nothing else would happen. This operation went so smooth I’m thinking about a career change , I’m wondering how I can add this kind of experience to my CV.?

My advice to any novice aspiring criminal:

1- Always have someone watching the road
2- In & out as fast as you can
3- If there is a riot, protest ,…etc. Don’t worry they want you to steal.
4- Shop owners = showy. Take that advantage , why else would they make the doors out of glass with no iron shield??
5- Alarms mean squat if mobile phones are down.
6- Security guards aren’t paid enough to risk their lives.
7- Study well the scene of the crime & use its surroundings to your advantage.
8- Security guards aren’t trained well enough to take you out if you’re organized.( One against many = instant win)
9- Police don’t care if you steal their job isn’t to stop crime its to catch criminals without you they’d be out of a job.
10- If i can do it so can you.

There’s a criminal in all of us just let out your inner criminal. let him lead you.

What happened to the stuff I stole ???


Well that happened on the 29th 😉


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